Doubt Your Doubts
"Maybe I have been wrong about God for my entire life," I scribbled in my journal late one night. "Is God even real?" I sighed to myself at the beginning of another sleepless night.
Don't get me wrong. I loved Jesus. Faith was the foundation of my upbringing. My mother worked sixty hours a week for a church the size of a shopping mall. This meant that I spent more time in a church building than I did in my own house. Christianity was the nucleus of my life — the central hub that powered everything around me. I listened to Christian CDs. I wore Christian t-shirts with cheesy slogans across the chest. I fervently took color-coded notes while listening to three sermons a week. In that same black notebook, I silently wrestled with my belief in God.
As a teenager, my faith morphed into a facade. I carried around a big leather Bible, but I questioned its validity. I listened to praise music, but I struggled through the lyrics. I publicly prayed to God, but I privately doubted His existence.
I didn't doubt God due to philosophy or science. My doubt took shape as I suffered through debilitating depression. Every day I was haunted by dark thoughts and a nagging lack of interest in life. It wasn't just despair; it was a disease. "Pray it away," seemed to be the summary of sermons. I prayed and prayed and prayed. Regardless, my mental illness remained. As the cycle repeated, my doubt developed.
Doubt often happens when our expectations don't match our experiences. We expected our teenage years to be the best years of our lives, but every day breeds a new struggle. We expected God to heal our grandfather, but now we are sending out funeral announcements. We expected God to make His plan crystal clear, but we are feeling lost and directionless.
Here is a message I wish someone shared with me while I was wrestling with my faith. Doubt is natural. Doubt is normal. Doubt is inevitable. So what do we do when we face uncertainty, questions, and doubt? Let's examine the simple advice of Jude.
Don't get me wrong. I loved Jesus. Faith was the foundation of my upbringing. My mother worked sixty hours a week for a church the size of a shopping mall. This meant that I spent more time in a church building than I did in my own house. Christianity was the nucleus of my life — the central hub that powered everything around me. I listened to Christian CDs. I wore Christian t-shirts with cheesy slogans across the chest. I fervently took color-coded notes while listening to three sermons a week. In that same black notebook, I silently wrestled with my belief in God.
As a teenager, my faith morphed into a facade. I carried around a big leather Bible, but I questioned its validity. I listened to praise music, but I struggled through the lyrics. I publicly prayed to God, but I privately doubted His existence.
I didn't doubt God due to philosophy or science. My doubt took shape as I suffered through debilitating depression. Every day I was haunted by dark thoughts and a nagging lack of interest in life. It wasn't just despair; it was a disease. "Pray it away," seemed to be the summary of sermons. I prayed and prayed and prayed. Regardless, my mental illness remained. As the cycle repeated, my doubt developed.
Doubt often happens when our expectations don't match our experiences. We expected our teenage years to be the best years of our lives, but every day breeds a new struggle. We expected God to heal our grandfather, but now we are sending out funeral announcements. We expected God to make His plan crystal clear, but we are feeling lost and directionless.
Here is a message I wish someone shared with me while I was wrestling with my faith. Doubt is natural. Doubt is normal. Doubt is inevitable. So what do we do when we face uncertainty, questions, and doubt? Let's examine the simple advice of Jude.
READ: Jude 22
"Be merciful to those who doubt."
It's easy to hide your true self from your friends, but it's much harder to hide from your family. Your siblings know your shortcomings and secrets better than anyone else. When we are reading Jude, we are reading the words of Jesus' brother. This should speak volumes about the legitimacy of Christ, as his own brother fought for his message. Some of your siblings wouldn't even write you a job reference.
Jude wrote this little letter to warn Christ-followers about false teachers. Nomadic prophets made a good living traveling around Palestine to spread a distorted perspective of Jesus. Wanting to ensure the truth of his half-brother's message was crystal clear, Jude wrote this epistle to encourage faith in the midst of doubt.
Jude says, "be merciful to those who doubt" (22). This short verse packs a strong punch. What is our response to doubt? It's not arguments, anger, or aggravation. Not at all! We are called to mercy. It's easy to think God would be harsh on those who doubt, but that's far from the truth. Jude encourages us to be merciful when we encounter doubt. The same is true for our Father. God's heart harbors mercy, not hostility, towards doubters.
We see this throughout scripture. The Bible is packed full of godly people who wrestled with doubt.
John the Baptist had doubts. After being locked in prison for teaching others about Jesus, He sent people to investigate the legitimacy of Jesus. "Are you really the Messiah?" they asked. Jesus didn't lash out at them; He lovingly reassured them.
Jesus' dear friend Thomas is likely the best-known doubter in scripture. After hearing rumors of resurrection, he announced, "I won't believe it until I place my hands in the scars on his arms!" Jesus came to him, allowed him to feel the wounds on his hands, and embraced him with open arms. There was no judgement, just love.
Abraham, the father of the Jewish faith, wrestled with debilitating doubt for most of his life. He and his wife were promised many children and descendants, but their struggles with infertility made this hard to believe. Sarah, Abraham's wife, was nearly ninety years old. The mere thought of having a child made her burst out laughing, but God had the last laugh. He blessed their family with a beautiful, healthy baby named Isaac. (His name even means laughter.) Doubt didn't disqualify them from God's promises.
Extend mercy to people who doubt. Especially when that person is you. You aren't alone in your questioning. Your doubts will never disqualify you. Your doubts will never prevent God from pursuing you. Your doubts will never stop God from loving you. Your doubts aren't evil, they're natural.
It's human to face doubt, but it's not healthy to live in doubt. When big questions keep you up at night, address them head-on. Let questions lead you to seek answers. Let confusion invite you into a bigger conversation. Let frustration push you towards faith. Doubt is natural, but it's also deceitful. When you encounter hard questions, be sure to examine them. Your doubt will inevitably make way for deeper belief.
Doubt your doubts.
"Be merciful to those who doubt."
It's easy to hide your true self from your friends, but it's much harder to hide from your family. Your siblings know your shortcomings and secrets better than anyone else. When we are reading Jude, we are reading the words of Jesus' brother. This should speak volumes about the legitimacy of Christ, as his own brother fought for his message. Some of your siblings wouldn't even write you a job reference.
Jude wrote this little letter to warn Christ-followers about false teachers. Nomadic prophets made a good living traveling around Palestine to spread a distorted perspective of Jesus. Wanting to ensure the truth of his half-brother's message was crystal clear, Jude wrote this epistle to encourage faith in the midst of doubt.
Jude says, "be merciful to those who doubt" (22). This short verse packs a strong punch. What is our response to doubt? It's not arguments, anger, or aggravation. Not at all! We are called to mercy. It's easy to think God would be harsh on those who doubt, but that's far from the truth. Jude encourages us to be merciful when we encounter doubt. The same is true for our Father. God's heart harbors mercy, not hostility, towards doubters.
We see this throughout scripture. The Bible is packed full of godly people who wrestled with doubt.
John the Baptist had doubts. After being locked in prison for teaching others about Jesus, He sent people to investigate the legitimacy of Jesus. "Are you really the Messiah?" they asked. Jesus didn't lash out at them; He lovingly reassured them.
Jesus' dear friend Thomas is likely the best-known doubter in scripture. After hearing rumors of resurrection, he announced, "I won't believe it until I place my hands in the scars on his arms!" Jesus came to him, allowed him to feel the wounds on his hands, and embraced him with open arms. There was no judgement, just love.
Abraham, the father of the Jewish faith, wrestled with debilitating doubt for most of his life. He and his wife were promised many children and descendants, but their struggles with infertility made this hard to believe. Sarah, Abraham's wife, was nearly ninety years old. The mere thought of having a child made her burst out laughing, but God had the last laugh. He blessed their family with a beautiful, healthy baby named Isaac. (His name even means laughter.) Doubt didn't disqualify them from God's promises.
Extend mercy to people who doubt. Especially when that person is you. You aren't alone in your questioning. Your doubts will never disqualify you. Your doubts will never prevent God from pursuing you. Your doubts will never stop God from loving you. Your doubts aren't evil, they're natural.
It's human to face doubt, but it's not healthy to live in doubt. When big questions keep you up at night, address them head-on. Let questions lead you to seek answers. Let confusion invite you into a bigger conversation. Let frustration push you towards faith. Doubt is natural, but it's also deceitful. When you encounter hard questions, be sure to examine them. Your doubt will inevitably make way for deeper belief.
Doubt your doubts.
READING PLAN
READ THESE PASSAGES IN ORDER EVERY DAY
Philippians 4:4-7
Proverbs 3:5-8
Psalm 46:1-6
Psalm 46:7-10
2 Timothy 1:7
Pslam 56:1-4
Do the following with each passage:
ASK– God to connect with you here. In prayer, start by slowing down and inviting God to be present. Begin with focus and openness to see what God has for you today.
READ– the selected section of Scripture slowly. Take note of the words and phrases that intrigue you, reading them a second time if necessary.
REFLECT– on what grabs you. How does this passage personally relate to your own life and experiences?
RESPOND– to the Scripture. Speak directly to God about what’s on your mind and heart. Look for ways to live out what you’ve uncovered.
READ THESE PASSAGES IN ORDER EVERY DAY
Philippians 4:4-7
Proverbs 3:5-8
Psalm 46:1-6
Psalm 46:7-10
2 Timothy 1:7
Pslam 56:1-4
Do the following with each passage:
ASK– God to connect with you here. In prayer, start by slowing down and inviting God to be present. Begin with focus and openness to see what God has for you today.
READ– the selected section of Scripture slowly. Take note of the words and phrases that intrigue you, reading them a second time if necessary.
REFLECT– on what grabs you. How does this passage personally relate to your own life and experiences?
RESPOND– to the Scripture. Speak directly to God about what’s on your mind and heart. Look for ways to live out what you’ve uncovered.